Short Stories

Nobody had expected such tragic events on that bright, sunny day. Hundreds were running around in pain trying to flee the horrifying sight of their homes being burned. The fire was uncontrollable and many were injured in the process of avoiding the flames. Countless amounts of workers died. It was a tragic sight. Who would have guessed that anthills were so flammable under a magnifying glass?

“Your twins need to be put back into place”, said my old neighbour as I walked by his house. I knew my twin boys weren’t angels, but I didn’t feel his words were justified. I frowned, but before I could retort he added, “This should help”, and handed me a few hundred bucks. How was I supposed to know he was talking about my sagging breasts?

I sat there crying as he laughed. He had taken everything I owned. I had no money left, and I couldn’t borrow any money from the bank. I was begging him to reconsider and have mercy on me... but he just laughed and asked me to hand over my last dollar, along with my dignity. That’s the last time I’m ever playing Monopoly with that jerk.

Jim was relaxing for the first time all day. He had been very worried that someone was creeping around the house. He wasn’t sure if the sound of footsteps was just coming from outside and naturally got scared. It was such a relief to find out nobody was around. It’s so much easier to take a dump when there’s no one around to hear it fall.

As time went by I couldn't wait, I wanted him inside me. I tried so many times to let him know, drop hints when he's beside me. I moved a little closer, trying not to let my feelings show too much, but I failed. I simply couldn't wait. If I had known then that rabbits tasted so good, I would have been a much happier dingo.

I hated her... always trying to imitate me. She was always jealous of me. I couldn't believe we were once friends. I couldn't stand looking at her anymore. She would always tell me I'm fat, always find my defects. One day I couldn't take more, and I punched her. There go seven years of bad luck. Starting by getting grounded by mum for punching the mirror.

"My favorite will always be Leonardo" said Sammy. "I like Michelangelo better" replied Sue. After many failed attempts at making some new friends, I decided to try and join the conversation and finally said, "I enjoy Picasso’s work more." The others laughed and walked away, shaking their heads in disbelief. How was I supposed to know they were talking about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?